North Carolina and The Lunchroom Rangers

By now you've heard that last week's obesity-inducing chicken nuggets are today's high-health magic food. That's a relief since my car and self gravitate naturally to the drive-thru at McDonald's. (Seriously, when I am on my death bed just give me about 87 cc's of a Coca-Cola/French fry blend, and I'll be up and cleaning the bathrooms within an hour.) So, when I became aware of the little 4-year-old whose homemade, pretty decent lunch was deemed unfit by the local food police, a.k.a. The Lunchroom Rangers, I had to find out what sort of digestive terrorism her mother had the audacity to inflict upon her. A turkey sandwich. Banana. Apple Juice. Potato Chips. Really?

Deputy Ranger #762 clad in his hair net and plastic gloves deemed her lunch nutritionally deficient and gave the little girl a second lunch with the FDA's new brain food, chicken nuggets. If that weren't enough, the little girl was slapped with a fine -- $1.25 for a lunch her mom never intended her to have in the first place.

I don't know about you, but when I imagined the scene in my mind and the absurdity of it all on the part of the school, the first thing I thought of was the 2319 alert in Monster's Inc. Far-fetched? I think not. Coming to a school near you? Possibly.

Valentine's Day Deserves a Post

Earlier, I was on my Facebook account -- letting my heart rate come down -- after a particularly busy day in my daughter's 2nd grade classroom. I was in charge of the class party game and prepared one that would reveal just how rough-and-tumble 7 and 8 year-old boys (and girls) can be.

As my breathing came under control and my pulse slowed, I saw a message from my sister enquiring about my annual Valentine's Day post. Once again, my heart began to pound but for much more enjoyable reasons, not because I was in danger of being karate-chopped by a 2nd grade boy who I had unwisely told to be a kung-fu Ninja master in our game of charades. No, I was in danger of letting this Valentine's Day go by without sharing something that, even through our country's economic woes, puts a smile on my face -- my annual posting of my favorite YouTube fan videos.

It's Raining Men, Period Drama Men


And from the genius who gave us the above video, something new: "Sharp Dressed Man"


I hope you enjoyed those. And for what it's worth, even in my absence, I still remain a Conservative Mom who is always Right. Keep checking back. I'll hit my stride and will start posting again. But for today, let's enjoy the rain. Hallelujah!

UC Davis Pepper Spray Incident

Has it really been 2 months since my last post? Holidays roll around, and I see nothing buy countdowns and candy. Festive celebrations aside, I have been paying attention to the news more this holiday season then I have in years past. You know as well as I do that so much is going on so fast, that it's hard to keep up. However, I thought this was noteworthy. It is a video compilation (just 15:55 minutes) of the incidents that occurred before the police began using pepper spray on some of the vermin that crawl the campus of UC Davis.

I don't know why this struck a chord with me. Maybe it's because I kept thinking, "If I ever caught my kid acting in such despicable behavior, I'd probably ask to borrow one of the cans." I look at those students, "children" as they call themselves at one particular creepy point, and hope that I can raise my girls to be thoughtful of their actions and independent in their thought. What sad, pathetic lives those kids lead. They make the tantrum-throwing toddler at a grocery store look downright pleasant to be around.

Here's the video. It's worth watching.

O.M..G. Michelle Obama is Just Like Me!!!!

She shops at Target!!! I take back everything I have ever said because she shops at Target. How much more relatable an a First Lady be?!

Granted when I go to Target, I usually wear my sunglasses on my head. Then again, I don't have security with me, but that's okay. She's still shopping at Target! And she's just like me because she has a shopping buddy. Her buddy is technically a "shopping assistant"...oh wait. I don't have one of those either, but I do have a toddler that comes with me. I wonder if the shopping assistant throws temper tantrums too as they pass the toy aisle? Of course, if Michelle Obama has to pick up goldfish crackers that the assistant has launched from chubby fingers, then, well, we could be twins because she shops at Target.

Let's talk cameras because, whoa!, I have a camera at my disposal too when I shop at Target. Granted it's on my phone, and if I want a picture, I have to take it myself. Usually, I don't have people from the AP with a DSLR hanging around the cash registers either, but wait! It's still Target, and the First Lady is shopping there with her assistant...and security...so she's just. like. me. Right?

I mean, she did by dog food and dog treats, and I buy those too. Of course, if I have been stuck at home and had a chance at freedom, 30 minutes at Target wouldn't cut it. I'd leave with dog treats and dog food. And toothpaste, toilet paper, and laundry detergent. I wouldn't want to forget Kleenex, diapers, candy, and soap. That trip, alone, could easily take an hour. Wow, it must be nice to vacation lavishly in Spain or Martha's Vineyard, so that I don't have get my RnR at the local big-box store. You know, if I really think about it, maybe the First Lady isn't just like me.

Granted, she shopped at Target, but I'll drive myself home. I'll unpack my own bags. I'll take off my watch that sits a jewelry box devoid of a $40,000 diamond cuff. I'll put my shoes in a closet where the clothes are not designer. Yes, Mrs. Obama shopped at Target, but it was only for 30 minutes because, I think, she couldn't get out of there fast enough. She just hoped it was enough time to make regular, everyday folks think "O.M.G. Michelle Obama is just like me!"

Presidential Debates or How to Pick "Best in Show"

To understand where I am coming from today, watch this clip from the Westminster Kennel Club Dog Show. It explains the process by which a judge chooses that year's top dog. The key point is made from the 0:53 mark to the 1:30 mark.


Honestly, that's why we have these debates. It is, quite literally, a Dog and Pony Show. We are looking for someone who fits the standard of "Republican Nominee for President of the United States." It's not so much Bachman vs Romney or Cain vs Gingrich. It's Perry vs The Standard. Romney vs The Standard. Whoever comes the closest to meeting those definitive and prevailing qualifications should be the nominee. So, who do you vote for down the road? Develop your standard--sound executive experience, family values, inspiring, low-tax loving, whatever else matters--and go from there. So, get your blue ribbons ready. It's going to be a great night!

Political Ad Win

I just saw this on HotAir and found it too great too pass up. It's a vote-for-me ad put out by a guy named Roger Williams who was--I learned--Rick Perry's Secretary of State. Mr. Williams is running for Congress, and this is his ad.

Hee-haw!

Preparing for the Barack-alypse: For Whom the Earth Rolls

My mom called today to share the news about the East Coast's bumpy ride. Three things:

First. In all fairness, a 5.8-ish earthquake to someone who has never experienced one before is the biggest they have ever felt. Recalling my first earthquake brings to mind a memory of me in the guest bedroom at my in-laws house--terrified--hiding under the covers (because that will save me from a collapsing ceiling!). My husband--native Californian that he is--wandered in, laughing at me because he saw the quake as just another day in SoCal. With that being said, I don't blame those who felt the earth move beneath their feet for being a wee bit petrified especially with the 10-year anniversary of 9/11 a few weeks away.

Second. A note of earthquake safety (My husband gave me earthquake preparedness lessons after that first time, and they actually came in handy in our years in California.): Never run outside during an earthquake. Debris from buildings as well as the walls tend to fall away from the building. Find a doorway to brace yourself in or get under a table. Also, be sure to seek a safe place before tweeting about the incident.

Third. No one knows why earthquakes really happen. Many will cry "Global Climate Change!" I, for one, just figure that Mother Nature, like all females, has her reasons. I don't question her methods; I just try to anticipate her moods and get ready for them. One thing is almost certain, though. She might be a Conservative Mom who's legs couldn't bear the weight of Washington D.C. The Capitol and Congressional buildings are quite a heavy load to carry, and I understand her falter. We share a similar burden--hers being a physical one and ours being the consequences of a bloated federal governmetn. Elections are fast-approaching, and I only hope that we can elect leaders in the future who will work to lighten all of our loads.